Got that important meeting lined up for later.
Sorted your day out, jobs done, head prepared.
Did the extra miles last night, canned some other opportunities in favour of this meeting.
It’s a biggie.
The phone rings, worse it’s an email or text.
“Can we reschedule, something important has cropped up?”
Actually, I’m not sure why that is a question, usually it is received as a demand, however gentle the delivery.
Why should people be upset at a re-scheduling?
Well, because they are people, and like to be treated as equal’s, and that means as equally important.
To blatantly deconstruct (Reframe) the original request:
“Fortunately something more important than you has come up so I’m going with the better option, and won’t be meeting with you as I said I would.”
“Yes fortunately. If it was unfortunately it would mean I was choosing to do something less important than being with you, that would be unfortunate for both of us, but this way it is fortunate for me (though unfortunate for you).”
(Insert whatever one or two syllable expletive you like at this stage)
I realise this isn’t the conversation which ensues. However I believe it is the essence of what happens inside many people when they get bumped.
They feel the emotion, and worse, they feel they shouldn’t be upset. And the deliverer of the message has little genuine emotion (and it seldom actually occurs to them that they should).
What I am trying to do with this post is reframe cancelling out.
I want to encourage people to get better at keeping contracts (appointments, meetings, coffee or lunch dates).
There is a lot of hidden relationship/ trust damage when you reschedule or cancel. This applies to co-workers, reports, bosses, children and partners, and of course friends.
Being sincere about the appointments you make and valuing them above all else is one of the best gifts you can give yourself and others.