My greatest failures, and those I have seen with others often arise due to one thing:
A failure to accept personal responsibility at the appropriate time.
Some things you can’t avoid. These are lightning strike events. Unforeseeable or at least very hard to predict. You get struck down by illness, you lose a key team member due to an accident, your main supplier’s plant burns down. These events may be associated with frustration and stressful times, and at times grief.
Matters you can avoid by taking personal responsibility earlier are distinguished by relatively greater sense of personal grief/musing/blaming/upset/guilt.
Mostly when people ‘lose their rag’ at someone else it is borne from their own failure to accept responsibility for a number of possible reasons:
• Not staying in touch
• Not keeping in contact on an important project
• Not relaying their standards clearly enough
• Not having provided all the necessary information
• Not having picked up on the cues that the person was behind
• Not setting a clear time frame or constraints
• Not having trusted the person sufficiently
If someone is doing something for you, then that is the point they are doing it “for you”. You need to ensure they have taken on a commitment within their reach. You can’t just expect it to be done.
On the flip side if you are doing something for someone else, then do it, and if you can’t then let them know immediately.
• I was too busy
• It was unrealistic
• It was too hard
• I didn’t know how
• I forgot
Are all just lame excuses.
We recognise these uncomfortable moments because they will be associated with (one or more of):
• A sinking feeling
As compassionate as I am in what I do I am fairly direct with people about their responsibility to change their situation. No one else can do it for you. No one motivates you, demotivates you, makes you sad, angry happy or mad. We do it all by ourselves.
Nobody is broken, we all work perfectly. We get exactly what we create.
When we can step out and step up to see ourselves as the architects of our own life then we commence a new journey of possibility, liberation, personal freedom and – at the very outset personal responsibility.
It is the best gift anyone can receive.