Reality check – Part 1

When I was first coached one of the key aspects my coach kept me revisiting was a reality check.

What you resist resists
ILLUSION - What you resist resists.
For me this was a reality check of the kind “You’re picturing this worse than it really is, you’re undervaluing yourself…”

Radio “I’m not good enough” was the term used to remind me.

At the time I was clearly going through some difficult changes as the reality was very different to the confidence or rather lack of confidence with which I was carrying myself forward.

It was a deeply personal struggle which few of my friends and colleagues were aware of.

It’s great to be out of there.

There are many people out there enduring the sort of pain such doubt brings about, and previous or even current success is no source of immunity.

So where and how do you get out, what can you do?

There is no panacea, though here are proven ways to progress, explore these and others to get a fit with you:

  • Share with your closest friends/colleagues – you may be suprised to hear they have been there to
  • Seek out inspirational people and realise the only difference is they are ‘doing’ and you are ‘holding back’
  • Keep great company (ditch those who drain your spirit)
  • Break the pattern; take up a new sport, go running, get out, meet old friends
  • Explain – don’t complain, don’t be a broken record, be a record of positive change
  • Set new goals and commitments – share these with your partner or colleagues
  • Get a great coach (I know some!)
  • Seek out a psychotherapist/psychologist – ignore the old social stigma’s about seeing a ‘shrink’ – some of my best friends are psych’s!!
  • Stay above the line

Remember What you resist resists

Fighting it is no solution, finding and forging a way forward is.

(Reality check Part 2 , will deal with the opposite problem – when you are overly confident of your strengths.)

Good Deeds

Olympic champion triathlete Hamish Carter has just set a great example of leadership.

His former coach was critically ill – Carter visited, placed his gold medal on the TV  in Ralston’s hospital room saying, “That stays there until you walk out”. See: Carter

I see Carter’s gesture as hugely symbolic of the respect he has for Ralston, and of Carter as a person.

As an amateur sportsperson I find this incredibly compelling.

What would be the equivalent in a work context.

Although I can think of a few bedsides I have attended for cancer, heart disease and general injury, I could not readily think of a parallel example in the corporate sense.

What commitment could you make to your staff or colleagues or bosses that would demonstrate complete buy in and dedication?

As leaders, or followers, there must be many things we can do to pay our respect to those we admire and directly or indirectly owe our livelihoods to.

So here is a brief list to kick it off:

  1. Do your job to the best of your ability – that is the best payback possible for anyone who has promoted you into a role or a career. This is what keeps me going as a coach, and if I hit the wall, thinking of those individuals is invaluable.
  1. Ask for help when you need it. Mentors and sponsors are generally ‘for life’. Keep the relationship alive, don’t ride your horse off into the sunset of success, nor assume they will never want to hear from you again (successful or not).
  1. Pay it forward. I was not great fan of the film but the principle is 200% correct. If you’ve been given a leg up, then do the same for others.
  1. Shine. Be proud. Authentically acknowledge everyone from receptionist to Company President.

What else do you think can be done?

Richard

Welcome

This is a new start for the Croadworks website.

I have been inspired by Dan Rockwell http://leadershipfreak.wordpress.com/ to get my act together and make this site worth visiting.

Thanks Dan, I owe you.

Short, sweet and regular postings. To amuse me and to glean counter and agreeable views from a, sometimes, unsuspecting audience.

Why not!

I won’t build this site tonight, I aim to build it over the next several years.

Thanks for dropping by.